A Silent Conversation. . .

A poem i wrote in bus,while I was on my way to college.

The idea popped out randomly. No such experiences though.

The English lines are what a girl is talking and the hindi ones are from the guy.

Its a sort of (silent) conversation between them . .

It is about the separation of two lovers and their thoughts when they are away from each other. My first try for writing in a different way.

Tell me how it is.

Courtesy: Google Images

Where?? Oh dear!!

Where had u been?

I have been waiting here. .

Searching for your shoulder to lean. .

भूल गया था मैं . . 

के तू हैं यही कही . .

ढूंड लिया मैंने सारा जहां . .

पर अपने दिल में नहीं . .

Hiding all the pain. .

Hiding all the tears. .

I was left all alone. .

Fighting against my fears. .

थम गई मेरी साँसे . .

पर ख़तम ना हुई राहें  . .

चलता रहा मैं तनहा. .

और तेरे प्यार के लिए तरसती रही मेरी बाहें . .

 Thinking about the Last time i saw you. .

And the Last time we kissed. .

Please come back my love. .

To live all the moments that we've missed. .

रुला रही है तेरी यादें . .

तडपा रही है तेरी आँस . .

ढूंड लिया है अपने लिए एक जहां . .

अब आ रहा हु तेरे पास . .

You said you'll be back in a while. .

I had been waiting to see you making me smile. .

Feeling strangled within my strife

Feeling lonely, now I've given up my life.

~ Tejas Kudtarkar

Coming Home Again . . .

This was written while returning back from my Goa trip,which happened to be the best ever..

But I always feel...."Home is the best place for peace & It is the best gift for a lonely person."

All the moments that we shared. .

And all the memories that we made. .

I'll write them down on a stone..

And not let them fade. .

So many feelings were unexpressed. .

So many words remained unsaid. .

They kept looking for ears. .

But all those ears were dead. .

Met some people & traveled many places. .

Touched few hearts & clicked some faces. .

Been to all those spaces, I ever wanted to roam. .

But it never felt like home. .

This fun will never find any end. .

Coz life will play many such songs. .

I am coming home again. .

To the place where my heart belongs. . 

- Tejas Kudtarkar

Miss You...

I opened the window,

and came in the breeze..

I saw them moving,

those cheerful trees.

They feel the joy,

Yeah, i can see them smile.

I wish if i could feel like them,

maybe just for a while..

I miss staring into ur eyes,

I miss the smile you wear,

and I miss the feeling..

when ur hand moves through my hair.

I miss those drives on the highway,

I miss those late night sleepy talks.

I miss your head on my shoulder..

and i miss those long walks.

I miss holding your hand,

I miss hugging you tight.

I miss those cute kisses..

Well..this isnt right.

Feeling low on life,

and i feel so weak..

I am lying alone here..

with no words to speak..

- Tejas Kudtarkar

A Teary eyed lady. . .

A few lines about isolated old-aged woman. . .



Old and lonely,she moves closer to the window
Touching the cold glass,
and with her teary eyes, she is staring at the shadow,
Of the tree she planted years ago.

Aware of her direct surroundings,
Yet unaware of her past.
Wondering why it is that she’s staring,
and forgetting the answer just as fast.
 

A tear of frustration streaming down her soft pink cheek,
Her legs for years now extremely weak.
Her one desire to touch the wetness
On the other side of the wall
But no one close to share this dream with,
No one has seen her at all.
 

Never even called a grandma,
athough her children years old.
Left alone in a cold room,
with only few days to unfold.
 

Close to the open window,
She puts her body down on a chair.
The fresh air in through her breath
As she gives the rain her final stare.

-Tejas Kudtarkar

And i am still smiling. . .

It is about a person who has been losing in life...until he finds something inside him that brings out the positive attitude in him.

Photo by: Sid Sansare

Life is a boat..and we keep sailing...

Life is hard..but i am still smiling...

I have been hurt,

I have fallen in dirt.

Things had fallen apart..

when i thought of going back to the start..

I tried & tried..

to win the fight.

But never gave up..

thinking.."Someday,I might..."

Wasted time that never came back..

Cursed myself thinking.."What is it that i lack?"

Never saw what I had in me,

Coz i was working for ..what others wanted me to be..

I wish i could see this before...

Maybe by now, my boat would have found the shore..

But..i will still keep sailing..

And here i am still smiling..

Someday, ill reach the shore..

Then this smile will b wider..and yet..ill work for more..

Life is a boat..n i am sailing..

life will b harder...but ill keep smiling..

-Tejas Kudtarkar

और हमने जीना छोड़ दिया . . .

किताबो के समुन्दर में छलान लगा के,

मर मर के तैरना सीख लिया.

तैरते तैरते मंजिल तक पहुंचे,

और हमने जीना छोड़ दिया.

खुद जीना नहीं जानते थे,

पर अपने बच्चो को जीना सिखा दिया.

उनकी ख़ुशी के लिए,

अपनी ख़ुशी बेच दी,

खून पसीना एक कर लिया,

और हमने जीना छोड़ दिया.

ज़िन्दगी की दौड़,दौड़ रहे हम,

चैन की सांस भी ना ले पाए,

एक झोका, ठंडी हवा का भी ना ले पाए,

गिरते कादमोको संभाल लिया,

और हमने जीना छोड़ दिया.

सफ़र कट रहा है,

समय बदल रहा है,

सोचा,

चैन की सांस अब ले पाएंगे,

एक झोका ठंडी हवा का,अब महसूस कर पाएंगे,

जो ना कर पाए अब तक, वो अब कर लेंगे.

पर शायद अब अंत आ गया है.

और,

जब मुडकर देखा हमने पीछे,

पूछा हमने खुदसे,

ना जाने क्यों, हमने जीना छोड़ दिया???

- Tejas Kudtarkar.

Heaven Calling ....

A call from GOD:

Heaven,a place full of smiles,

a place where u can walk for miles.

a place u wished to be here one fine day. .

So I am asking ....Why not today?

In your life,

u cried,u fought and u won.

but this is death 
and u will lose my son.

I am calling u to take a nap,

Just a Few golden moments in my lap.

I am taking u away from your kids n your wife. .

But for all your good deeds, i will give you another life.

Just breathe in your last breath. .

Come and see. .there is life after death.

open ur eyes...can you see yourself burning???

Life is turning into ashes..and death is crawling.

My son,

This is heaven calling..

 -Tejas Kudtarkar

माझी आई

आई तू माझी आई . . .

किती ग तू गोड. .  माझी आई. . .

सुगंध तुझा जसे फूल "जाई". .

आई तू माझी आई . . .गोड आई. . .

दुख्खात असताना येणारा माझा पहिला शब्द . . .आई. . .

हसताना आठावणारी  एकच ती माझी आई. . .

जीवनाचा माझा पहिला शब्द . . . आई. . .

जीवनाचा पहिला घास भारव्नारी. . .माझी आई. . .

गूढ़ग्यावरच्या  ज़ख्मेला औषध लावणारी. . .माझी आई. . 

माझ्या दुख्खात माझ्या बरोबर रडणारी  . . .माझी आई. . .

सुख्खात माझ्या चेहरयावर हसु पाहून आनंदाने रडणारी . . .माझी आई. .

मी जन्मल्यावर, मला पहिल्या क्षणी  पाहून आनंदाने रडनारी . .माझी आई. . 

खोट बोल्यावर रुसून बसणारी . . माझी आई. . 

पण मी रुस्लो तर प्रेमाने समझावणारी  . . माझी आई

माझ्या जीवनाचे दर्पण. . माझी आई. . 

तुझ्यासाठी  सर्व जीवन अर्पण. . आई

आई तू माझी आई. . 

पडतो मी तुझ्या पाई. . 

आई तू माझी आई. . 

किती ग गोड तू. . . माझी आई. . . 

 - Tejas Kudtarkar

Bloody LOSER !!!

It is about d SUICIDES.

Specifically . .STUDENT SUICIDES.

 Im sorry for harsh and foul language.

U will feel sad,u will feel low.

U will be lost for d way,your eyes will show.

U will be broke. .u wish u could choke. .

U will take a knife,u will cut a vein.

U had the wall behind,but u didnt wanna lean.

Your home is waiting for u to pick up their call,

But u b*stard . .u chose to fall.

U hanged urself, u shot your head with the gun. .

I Wish u knew . .that the next day had the brighter sun.

U had a life to live,though death was 1 more day closer. .

Bt u gave up ur life midway. .u bloody loser. .

-Tejas Kudtarkar

Reasons Unknown. . .

Luv,

An infidel feeling,

Dat I hav knwn,

Dat I hav cme along,

For reasons unknown.


She,

Her enticing eyes,

Dat calmly smile,

Dat stayed for a while,

For reasons unknown.


I,

wid d flash of her beauty,

Felt desperate,

And desperate,

For reasons unknown.

- Tejas Kudtarkar

Yet Another Nitemare. . .

I toss and turn in the night,

As i flip the switch,nothing goes right.

My heart pounds quickly and I run out of breath,

And it was another nightmare about my encountering death.


There is nothing wrong with me,

or the way I feel,

When I cut myself,

I humanly begin to heal.


I cant take any more,

i just wanna run.

I am no mutant,

I am just another human.


So then why do I wake up from bed?

With my heart sinking faster than lead?

With thoughts of suicide and being dead,

These nightmares are always swirling around in my head.


These worries are lodged in my head like paper to glue,

If I can hurt myself in my dreams, then why not in reality, too?

This has not yet happened but I fear that it may,

Kill dat nightmare..to GOD everyday..i pray..

- Tejas Kudtarkar

Hold My Hand. . .

hold my hand..
n walk with me.
we can cross dark valleys together,
until the bright sunlight,we see...


Hold my hand..
n whisper those words to me..
Carry me away into d comfort Of ur arms,
Into d nights of 2mrw n Infinity

Hold my hand..
n keep staring at me
all my "LOVE" for u,
is wat u'll see.

hold my hand..
n in ur eyes i will sink..
i wanna fall deeper in love,
blink after blink.

hold my hand
n rest ur head on my shoulder
ill kiss u on ur forehead,
then d air wont be colder.

Hold my hand..
n hug me tight.
just be wid me
day after day,night after night

Hold my hand
n feel my heartbeat..
Now im falling deeper in love,
as u bring in the heat.

-Tejas Kudtarkar

Finding the "REAL YOU"

It is a short one about how people give up the fight to find make their own identity in life.
and then unable to digest d failure, tend to
turn in wrong ways.


You claim your life is a worthless tragedy,
that it’s the "REAL YOU" that no one can see.
But no one will know wats true,
If you don’t let the "REAL YOU" shine through,


u drift to drugs n abuse,
to melt away the pain.
but, it doesn’t go away,
n you still feel the same.


Soon, there will be nothing left,
but just an image of "YOU".
now lacking,what was once amazing.
You’ve forgotten the hopes and dreams,
you were once chasing.

-Tejas Kudtarkar

Goodbye. . .

Im a bit emotional u say..
But its u, who makes me feel dis way.

Together, vl make stories that will be told,
Who knws how d future wil unfold?

Let me hold you as d time flies by so fast,
Soon ull be gone N dis is gonna be our past.

I hate to see you like this,
so sad..
so quiet..
y are things so amiss??

u know u cant be near me.
yet u wanna b wid me?
u knw u cant even luk at me,
is dis how its gonna be?

How do i say gudbye?
To al d times spent 2gthr..
To al d things v used 2 knw..
n all d places v used to go..

Hw do i say gudbye?
To d way v used to be??
To d memories v made of us??
To d dreams v made 4 us??
I can 4gt u never..
Hw do I say gudbye 4evr?

d future holds time v r yet to share..
As the present holds bright n luvly air.
dat fills our heart, soul n mind.
v really are like two of a kind.

ur sumthn spcl, I cnt deny it.
“Erase u frm ma heart”? I cudnt evn try it.

id lik to gve oceans full of my love 2 u,
But I knw all d oceans wud b too few.
So for now Il jst tell u, even if v r nt 2gthr,
“I LOVE YOU" nw n always n 4evr.”


- Tejas Kudtarkar

%#@%$**(!^$##

Its from a guy to his GF's Ex-BF...
He expresses all his anger towards him in it.
So i dont want to explain more about it...u will get it as d poem progresses.


Il protect my love..

To dis I swear.

Il love her 4evr,

nt dat u shud care.


Its like u wer nevr ther,

2 hold her close wen she was scared,

2 wipe away her tears,

wen d pain was to much to bear.


So y do u want her nw?

Wen shes safe n sound.

Shes finaly been found.

So I can hold her in my arms so tight,

n She can finally shut off the light,

Nt scared dat someone will come in

n make her pay a bet u did not win.

u cud nvr c d beauty within.


I guess d beautiful woman was invisible again,

Cz wid u she was scared 2 evn let out a deep sigh,

In a fear dat u wud slap her n tell her nt to cry.


I guess dis ws ur fun n game,

2 hav a beautiful woman n drive her insane.


u nevr let her to grow old and wise,

u always kept her barred in ur ties.

u shud have set her free..

Cz dats wat she just wanted to be..


now she knows she wont cry,

Cz Im helpin her out.

She can finaly leave ur side.

To knw she dsnt hav 2 hide,

And she can finaly be herself,who she is inside.


- Tejas Kudtarkar

Jaane kahaan gaye voh din......

This is for all my friens...
thoda lamba hai...shayad padhte padhte pak jaoge....lol
but DIL SE likha hai...



Behne waali hawa bhi tham gayi hai..
ab toh bas yaadien hi reh gayi hai..

har monday dopahar ko garden me baithnaa..
ceremonial se 2 vada-pav khaa ke..
4 baje ghar laut jaana.......

raat ko 12 baje ghar se nikalnaa..
bandra ki un galiyo me ghumnaa..
aur subah 3 baje ghar laut jaana...

ambition toh jaise apne pappa ne kharid ke di thi...
jitne baar nikaalte the....utne baar band padti thi..

wing me baith ke "POINTS" khelte the..
udhar nahi mile toh TREEHOUSE me pade rehte the..

Vacations me niche sadte the din bhar...
kuch kaam nahi mila...
toh "chalo bhushan k willows wale ghar!!!"

group me sab se lamba hai "Dhyan"...
vohi hai hamaare group ki shaan...

ab nahi milenge bhushan ke legs..
aur nightout me maare hue voh pegs..

SHANKY toh 1 number ka burger tha..
ek CHOTE hi tha..Jisko sab kuch maalum tha..

KARKERA ke liye ab main kya bolu???
Ab toh bldg me aa gaya hai EK AUR KAALU..

tanmay ki chori hui thi Ek pulsar
Sab ko pata hai fir kya hua tha uske ghar....

group me ubhaar raha hai ek kavi...
naam hai uska "ADITYA RAVI"...

Gaano ki maaarne me expert tha NOTTI..
Julaab ki goli kha kar TANMAY ne ki thi din bhar potty..

US jaa raha hai apna IYER..
saale..yaad karna tu humlog ko vaha par..

Jab aegi PAIYYA ki suhaagraat
udhar bhi vo karega msgs se baat..

Vinil ko hota hai aaj kal bohot kaam..
bol na kya hai teri GF ka naam...??

aur uska bhai hai neel...
usse lambe hai uske R15 k wheel

PATEL ke bhi ruk gaye sawaal..
aur mere bhi jhad gaye baal..

ab "HANI" nahi bolta tabi ko jabi..
kya laut aaenge yeh haseen pal kabhi??


jaane kahaa gaye vo din..
zindagi hai sooni tum yaaro ke bin...

- Tejas Kudtarkar

Life is Bitch

Well not a poem this time...
just d random thoughts flowing in my mind...
u can say...it is a "PLAIN NOTE " dis time...

had written it a few weeks ago....

its about d most common thing ....infatuation...or u can say *CRUSH*..
which is misunderstood to be "LOVE"....




When v are busy living a "HAPPY PRESENT",
Our mind is actually thinking a lot of things..
It writes a script for us..
"THE SCRIPT FOR OUR FUTURE"..
wich is actually based on our "PRESENT".
And..we,start living life according to it..
Now the problem is when the things do not fall in place..

so..we go back to the phase in our past..
just to see whys n hows..
n land up living the past again..
v get stuck there..
blame life to b a bitch..
Y dont v just stop thinkin ??

in the meanwhile..

v might meet people..
some remain close..some go away far..
but ther is always sum1..who is there for you..
n whn dat sum1..becomes sum1 special??
well..
u might confess..or u might not..
u might stay 2gthr 4ever..or u might not..
u know ull always remember them..
but still..u might try to forget..
but dat sum1 special..
leaves a mark in ur life forever..
n then.. u are back to square one...


things wont work again..
u go back to past..
analyse..
live it again..
get stuck..
blame urself..
n again...
"LIFE IS A BITCH"

- Tejas Kudtarkar

I wish

(Its about unrequited love..

v meet people,make friends,good..may b best friends, but at one point or another,one of

them will fall in love wid the other..

n sometimes, d feelings r locked in our heart...

may be d words never come out..

n then some day...may be years later,

v realise..v wish...

if v cud speak up..wud d things b different??

But...then...v can just wish...coz its too late..

d poem is about a guy,who is in love wid a girl,

 but realises dat its too late to say it..)

Hope...some of u can relate to it...

So...here it goes...

Wherever u r,

no matter how far,

Id lik 2 tell u..

dat Im missin u too.

I remembr d Times v wer together,

d way v cared for n understood each other..

i remember Hw hapy I ws.

i wish if time cud pause....

I jst wish I cn 4gt d pain,

n Turn bck those times again.

n if my wish cums tru,

Il gladly tel u,

I loved you.

I knw its crazy,

but its true,

really..

Crazy indeed.

bt I did..

I Luvd u..

yes I did..

-Tejas Kudtarkar

Lucky to b with "U"

 Finally the things are clear...Friends are so understanding...caring...

dis 1 is for d same friend..

The things we do..
and the times we spend together
Are frozen in my mind,
n make me feel light as a feather.

i like to hold ur hand...
it makes me feel mellow...
Cuz then you smile ...
n my shoulder becomes ur pillow.

World doesn’t exist when our fingers are laced.
n I could sit like this all day with you,
just lukin at ur beautiful face.

You'll see the smoke..
filling behind my eye,
I’ll get all teary..
and joyfully ..I’ll cry.

But sumtimes i feel sad...
and in my eyes..it is reflected..
Then ur voice surrounds me...
and I finally feel collected.

Someday...u will b gone..
n ill miss u like hell..
dats When Ill remember..
these times so well.

    
We have dis frnship ..
something beautiful..
n everiday like something new
it’s completely solid
and I’m so lucky I’ve got it with you...

- Tejas Kudtarkar

Dear Friend. . . ..

Dis 1 is for a friend of mine...May be it can make things more clear...

Something has happened,
my dear friend,
u used to be yourself..
but now you pretend.
To be someone else…
someone untrue
I wish you wd tell me…
wheres d real you?

d bond is breaking
And v are falling apart
All that had tied us
at the start…

Sm1 usd to be ur closest friend...
I tried hiding wt i feel..
but i cudnt pretend…

Who is to blame for??
he is d one that took away
All of your inner beauty…
and you thought it was ok…

So now you’ve built this other you.
That keeps on killing love faster and faster…

The way things are
is not how they r meant to be.
i m longing 4 u to say..
"I LOVE THEE"

u r pushing me away,
so theres nothin I can do
To help reveal whats left of you…

Look in d mirror
n try to see
If this is d way..
u want to be…

d world is so beautiful,
but inside u r feeling so dark,
forget him...
He was An evil guy who has no heart…

u dnt seem to get outta ur selfish hate,
Maybe ul realize it
wen its too late…

til then ul choose d wrong path,
ul cut, ul bleed
and ul 4gt to laugh,

ur beauty, is darkened by d sorrow u feel..
Wen u see ur new mask starting to peel…

It hurts to see how u play so clever
U changed me for now..
n maybe forever…

I hope someday ull see
the way you are now is just nt right
And try to change back
to how you were
and not give up without a fight…

- Tejas Kudtarkar

U n ME

Al smal thngs die away,
nly u n I cntnue 2 stay.

Our wrld is spcl n unique,
Its nly each othr dat v seek.

Smthn spcl has been made,
v knw Our bond wl nvr fade.

If v r nt 2gthr thn v rnt cmplete,
Evry second vr apart,my heart skips a beat.

Evn if I wer blind I cud stil c,
dat u are d most spcl persn 2 me.

Wen i look at ur face,
i realize,dat behind ur eyes,lies a secret place. .

In a crowd of faceless people,u r d only 1 i find,
Thn I undstnd dat god made u wth me in mind.

No matr wat u do,no matr wat u say,
Thr is nthng dat wl stop me frm feeling dis way.

-Tejas Kudtarkar

A Poem for my dad......

Thnk u 4 always helping me,
To care for n to understand me.
I appreciate d things u did 4 me,
And all the things u still do for me.
Thank u 4 making me feel "ME" again,
Thank u 4 making me forget all my pain.
Thank u 4 putting my pieces back,
Thank u giving me my life back,
You may not understand,
Why I do and what I do.
But you have always helped me through.
I know ill come 2 u when im in pain,
I know ull always b there to hold me again.
u are always d 1.
U are always ther 4 me.
u are always d 1.
D 1 who believs in me.

- Tejas Kudtarkar

Death Note...

(4m a guy to hs gf/wife)

Push rewind. .

look behind. .

all d memories. .

in my mind. . .

My heart thumps in fear. .

dat 2mrw i wnt b here. .

plz dnt u cry. .

i knw its gna b a bad goodbye. .

close ur eyes,

4gt d past. .

jst tlk 2 me,

as d clock ticks so fast. .

Touch me,

n make me insane. .

hug me,

n kill d pain. .

kiss me,

n clouds wil rain. .

dis nite wnt b long. .

I can c my death. .

Just stay close 2 me. .

Till my last breath. .

-Tejas Kudtarkar

Let Me FaLL . . . .

Hands r free. .

Bt i feel tied. .

Throat is thirsty. .

Bt d water wont slide . .

Numb r my feet. .

N i skip my heartbeat. .

Lips become dry. .

N eyes begin to cry. .

Yes. .there is sum pain . .

Wich i cnot feel. .

So let me leap out. .

To make it heal. .

Ther isnt any cmfort in reality. .

I cn c my life losing its clarity. .

Hangin in d air. .

counting my few last breaths. .

I knw. .im just few feets away 4m death. .

-Tejas Kudtarkar

u ll be back...

Life. .so dark n deep. .

N thr r many promises to keep..

Nthng seems 2 b rite..

Evrtngs changng..i seem 2 hav lost sight..

Got lost 4 a time or two. .

Wept 4 a while..

Bt kept pushing thru..

U usd 2 smile

n hold my hand..

U hav been thr..

N u undstnd..

Tears begin 2 flow..

When a frnd turns out 2 b a foe..

Bt i just need 2 let go. .

Cz ul b bck. .i knw. .i knw. .

With this drink....

i ve done something i regret...

how did i let this get into my head...

d pain is too much to handle now...

everithing starts to crumble low

with this drink...the pain goes away...

with this drink...my frnz fade away...

with this drink...i lose my humanity...

it is this drink...dat takes you away from me...

As the pain builds stronger...

the drink gets colder...

every sip begins to hiss...

can i save myself from all this??